Relationship Rules

  

Life is full of principles and rules. Just like a lot of things require putting in adequate effort to make them better, so do we need to be aware of those necessary principles that are needed to make a romantic relationship flourish. 'Relationship rules' are of importance to be aware of due to the fact that one must constantly seek ways to enjoy his/her marriage or relationship with their spouse or loved one. 

what is the essence of being in a relationship with someone or being married to a person without enjoying the love that should exist between the two?

Not everyone plans to be in a relationship just to have their time and effort wasted. If that is the case how come we often find ourselves feeling like we have committed a crime by falling in love when the relationship is going through a tough time? 

The answer to this question is often found in being ignorant of those relationship rules that lead to all-around wellness in the marriage or courtship.

What are 'Relationship rules' I am talking about?

Follow me as I share them with you.



 Rule #1

Never wish your partner were like someone else. 

Wishing your partner looks, talks, or behaves like someone else you admire will make you lose interest in the person you are dating/married to.

The moment you embrace the thought of comparing your partner with another person is when you would begin to feel as if you are in a relationship with the wrong person. Thought like this could paralyse any form of love your partner has for you as you could intentionally/unintentionally grow out of love with him/her. 

There's good and bad inside all of us. That person you are admiring from distance might not be as angelic as you think he/she is by the time you get close to them, one should exercise discipline when a scenario like this wants to happen. Always remember that everyone is unique in their own way, look for the good side of your partner and join hand with him or her to work on those other areas that require adjustment.

Rule #2

Treat your partner like your equal; don't see yourself as being better than your better half.

The truth of life is that none of us has every requirement when it comes to all that is needed to make all things perfect for ourselves, this is why the creator gave us the ability to yearn for love. 

In loving and being loved we always discover that we lack some qualities that our partners do have, and our partners also lack some qualities that are found in us. this is the most beautiful part of marriage and relationship. We complement each other in areas of weakness and strength.

Using myself as an example, For a long time, I have always seen myself as someone who is so lucky to have the kind of partner that I have.  Being patient is my strength while she is beautifully impatient, I am the type that will rather lose an argument against her for the sake of peace between us but she would rather win the argument for she knows I would never let our arguments degenerate into a bad situation.

 on her own part,

Intelligence is her strength because she is highly intelligent than I am. she is easily able to understand a complex situation than I am, she is very good with book-keeping while I am not even 50% good in it. My strength complements her weakness as much as her strength complement my weakness.

All these made us see ourselves as equal and none of us has ever felt better the other.

This is how God designed relationship between a man and a woman to be: to be for each other and not against each other. The relationship is the only place where 1+1 must be equal to 1. 

The partners in relationship/marriage must treat themselves equally.

Rule #3

A relationship needs money to flourish. No matter how little you can afford, you must spend on the one you love.

People often say that love does not cost anything, but in reality, the opposite is the case. Either you are a man or a woman reading this, one of the ways in which you can grow your love is by gifting material objects to your partner (it does not have to be the most expensive gift in the world). why gifting in a relationship is very importance is the fact it shows your partner you are always thinking of him or her. A giving heart is a loving heart. You MUST spend on each other if you value your relationship.

Rule #4

Separate love from lust

The feeling of being loved is a beautiful feeling that almost everyone in the world desires. it makes us feel like the whole world is in agreement to shower happiness on us. Love makes us feel like we are the luckiest people in the world for having someone who cherishes us, no wonder people say love is blind. When it comes to committing to a relationship with someone, even if the love is blind, our eyes must be open.

You must be sure that that the relationship you are craving for is out of love and not out of lust, else, it would end up as one regrettable adventure.  To enjoy the fruit of relationship you must fall in love with your thinking cap on and your eyes wide open as you do not want someone to waste that precious time of your life. If you don't do this, you are not playing safe when it comes to being in a relationship.

Rule #5

If you want to grow together you must plan and do things together.

There is so much love and power in togetherness that when people are truly united the world can hardly come between them. The unbreakable bond between lovers does not happen by magic, it is a result of determination and willingness between two lovely people who have made up their mind to share ideas together, plan projects together and pray together, laugh together in order to have everlasting growth together.   

To fully enjoy the benefits of love couple must not choose to live a separate life.

Lovers who do not plan or do things together cannot grow together, this is one of the reasons why so many couples have grown apart and eventually grown out of loving one another. There is no privacy or sadness in true love. 'A united couple is a happy couple'.

Couple must be united in all fronts. Though we might have differences, yet we can have differences and still live like we are not different from each other. This is a fact that happy couples can affirm to.

Rule #6 

Domestic violence is a line both of you must never cross.

For the lovers who desire wonderful life together, please do know that domestic violence is a line you must never cross. once people cross this line it is often hard and almost impossible to go back to having a sweet and happiness-filled relationship. Domestic violence is one of the topics the partners must sit down and have a discussion over even if they are not yet experiencing it. It is alright to have an argument over an issue but never alright to let your argument or misunderstanding lead to beating up yourselves.

Is domestic violence avoidable in marriage or relationship you asked? The answer to this is yes. Not letting your differences lead to quarrel is a product of  'intentional living' which lovers can adopt.

Lovers should be intentional not to be abusive to each other, they should be intentional in giving room for self-expression but not self-destructive. They ought to be intention in having a relationship which would become the envy of others around them. A violence-free relationship is highly achievable if those in the union determine to live violence-free.

Rule #8

Sex is not an assurance of love.

Sex is not an object of exchange, it is not collateral to obtain a true love from a potential suitor. 

Sex is a gift that is freely given at the right time by someone who feels loved by the right person and it is often given through the act of willingness and not coercion or trick by one of the parties involved.

So many times I get the question of  "can you claim to love someone without having sex with them?"

My answer forever remains YES. You do not need to have sex with somebody for the person to know you actually love them. If a person is not genuinely convinced of the love you have for them while you are being honest about your feelings to them, not even sex can make such person believe you truly love them.

Do not let someone take advantage of you in the name of  'if you love me you would allow me to have sex with you".  It is a lie and often a sign that such relationship will never work out for good.

Rule #9

For a relationship/marriage to work, the male has to be a fool.

There are times you need to forgo your favourite meal, there are times you need to trade off watching your club's football matches for spending time with your woman. There are times you need to switch off that ps4 and help your partner out while doing a house chore, nothing makes a woman happy like knowing that her man is caring and will always be ready to trade off the world for her.

If you always want to win the argument because you're the man of the house, or you think you can't put off your activities for your woman, your marriage/relationship will suffer for it. 

CAVEAT!!! A WOMAN SHOULD ALSO NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE MAN IF HE EVER PLAYS A FOOL FOR HER. BECAUSE HE PLAYS A FOOL DOES NOT MEAN HE IS A FOOL, HE LOVES YOU MORE THAN THE WORLD AND THAT'S THE REASON HE WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR YOU.

Rule #10

Counselling is always very important.

Don't underestimate the power of counselling and what it can do for your relationship. Nobody is the embodiment of knowledge and that is why it is good to seek help FROM THE RIGHT SOURCE whenever the relationship hits the bumps on the road of life.

When you have a problem in your relationship is not the right time to gossip your partner with your friends; that is the time for both of you to seek help from the right source and breathe life back into the dying love between you, too.

Rule #11

Read books, watch clips and listen to materials that will help you improve your relationship/marriage.

This last rule is self-explanatory as it does not require much to understand. We must not stop working on our marriage/relationship so that the love between us and our lovers will not stop growing. endeavour to work on your relationship and make it better every day.

My prayer for you today is that you will enjoy happiness and true love in life and if there is any challenge in your relationship, I pray the Almighty God to help you solve those challenges and give you joy in your marriage/relationship for the rest of your life.

If this material has been useful to you in any way, I beg you to help me share it with other people so they can benefit from it also.

I encourage you to leave any comment, question or contribution you have in the comment section below.

I remain your humble one, 

Abraham Adebiyi.

Thank You for visiting this blog and don't forget to check out other materials on the blog.

I wish you a relationship filled with unending happiness. Amen!