Dr GARY CHAPMAN wrote a book titled 'the five love languages'. In his book, he highlighted some important love languages which couple must speak to have a marriage/relationship they've always wanted. Knowing and living with those elements will not only improve the health of marriage/relationship of the couple but also helps the love in that relationship to last a lifetime.
Having said this, I want to specifically note that this article does not revolve around the points raised by Dr Gary in his book, rather, they are products of my own years of experience, coupled with personal observation. Over the years I have used those "5 love languages" in living with my adorable queen, Dorcas. We have both enjoyed undiluted and overwhelming happiness as a result of speaking 'the 5 love languages' with ourselves and we are sometimes the envy of people around us.
To clear the assumption of thinking everything about us is perfect, I would say this is not the case, but WE ARE SO HAPPY WITH THE KIND OF LIFE WE HAVE AND THE LOVE THAT EXISTS BETWEEN US.
Nevertheless, MISUNDERSTANDING BETWEEN US HAS NEVER LASTED FOR 30 MINUTES AS IT IS OUR OWN WAY OF LIFE THAT WHATEVER HAPPENS, WE FACE THEM AND DEAL WITH THEM IMMEDIATELY. We do have those 5 love languages we speak to ourselves and he'll us become more loving to each other. This has made us inseparable and our love for each other gets stronger over the years.
Do you desire happiness in your relationship, do you want to know those 5 love languages that can make a huge difference in your marriage/relationship? I am going to reveal them now.
1. Faithfulness to each other.
Number one language of love is FAITHFULNESS. Faithfulness as a language of love is bigger than it sounds. Faithfulness means a lot of things in a relationship and amongst those things are:
1. Having or showing true and constant support or loyalty to one another.
There are times we need to show how faithful we are to our lovers by constantly supporting their dreams and aspirations in life, remaining loyal to them even when they are not around us. Be in commitment to loving them alone despite all the temptations that abound around us.
2. Deserving trust: Keeping
Faithfulness means keeping our promises to our loved ones. When we keep our promises to our partners it creates trust and integrity between us. It is often hard to break a union where trust exists. Amongst things that cause divorce in marriage and breakup of a relationship is lack of trust. Not trusting someone does have a wrong effect on marriage /relationship and not keeping promises to one's partner sometimes leads to a lack of trust. Where there is no trust, faithfulness is absent.
3. Not having sex with someone
Having another sex partner outside one's husband or wife is an act of unfaithfulness. Such behaviour has caused many atrocities in marriage and has led to the breakup of millions of marriage/ relationship all over the world. There is no fulfilment in having multiple sexual partners, even those who commit this act always end up realizing how much it has cost them later on in life.
If you want to exhibit faithfulness in your relationship/marriage, don't have another sexual partner other your wife/husband.
Keep your promises to your loved one all the time and be loyal and constantly supportive of them. Be faithful to each other.
Second love language I want to talk about is
2. Compassion for one another.
Let us ask ourselves this question: if I don't show compassion to my love, will he/she ever feel loved by me?
Answer this question in your mind.
How do we show compassion to our wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend?
We show compassion by making sure we understand their pains whenever they are not doing well.
We show compassion by not placing so much demand on our partners and also suffer with them when the going gets tough for them.
Words like "I know you're trying your best to achieve these goals but things are not working out like you want, however, I want you to know that I will always be on your side and give any necessary support you need to achieve your desired dreams in life" are words that show that you are compassionate to the one who loves you.
To be compassionate to our partners we need to learn how to sympathize with them in times of trouble. All these attitudes are what make people feel loved and wanted by their wives, husbands, boyfriend or girlfriend.
When your partner is having a rough time is not the time to make any demand from them.
Compassion is that one thing that helps us understand the amount of love we have for each other. When one is compassionate to us we feel they truly love us and that helps us to open up our heart more than ever to them.
No man or woman feels appreciative towards a partner who is not compassionate. In the world of marriage/relationship, compassion is the lifeline upon which the love survives.
Without compassion, love would die. We are emotional beings and feeling unloved overwhelms our spirit until we eventually give up on trying to love again. When partners show each other compassion they grow in love together and become inseparable by anyone or anything. Show compassion to your love.
3. The third love language is being totally Open to one another without holding back.
If you want true happiness in your marriage or relationship, make sure there is no restricted area in your union. When there is no hidden place but everything is open in black and white to the people we love, this brings out true happiness the Lord purposed marriage to have when HE created the first man and woman that started courtship and the very first family tree.
We should be open to each other about our feelings to each other.
Express your love in words and actions towards your loved one. There is no point in hiding your feelings from your partner as this only results in feeling unwanted by either of the partners.
Be open to your partner in EVERYTHING. The openness must be in totality if we want to enjoy our lives together. Do not hide anything from your wife or husband.
Amongst those things to be open about is financial activity.
Be open to your man or woman about how much you earn, how much you spend, about the diverse temptation you face everyday from unwanted sources and be open about what you think you should both do in order to have that desired happiness in your love life.
Be open to your loved one about your personal struggles, be open about your newly earned victory and see if both of you will not grow stronger in love and respect for each other.
In an attempt to control or manage relationship people hide things from each other and they miss out on growing stronger together.
If you want to see a new level of together between you and your husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend, make your mind together to be totally open to each other in all things. Even if you think what you're open about to him or her is irrelevant, just be open like an open book. There is nothing irrelevant when it comes to being open to each other in a marriage/relationship.
If you want a new lease of life and happiness in your relationship /marriage, begin today with openness. When you are both open to each other on all fronts there will be no room for suspicion or feeling of anxiety by either of the partners in love.
4. Praying and playing together
People often say prayer is the key that opens all the doors in the world. Not only does prayer open door of marital happiness, it only keeps us together and binds us to one another against every opposition in life. This is the reason people say "those who pray together always stay together".
We must be honest to ourselves that marriage is under attack more than ever in the 21st century, the social media has brought about fake life and fake relationship which make others be envious of those they see online as 'couples goals' without looking at the trials and the pains the couples have been through together. Immediately they see those couples on the internet they develop the desire to be like them, they begin to try and make their partners behave and act like those they see on the internet and completely overlook the uniqueness of their own partners. A situation like this normally results in divorce when one partner can no longer play the role of that internet love bird their wife or husbands saw and wanted them to become.
The internet has also opened up the pornography industry to the world where people find themselves having easy access to pornographic contents more than ever. After watching those prohibited contents online they begin to have the urge to try out those things they watched on their partners and some develop the fear of not wanting their partners to find out about their unholy internet activities. This is one of the reasons we now have a quick rise in the number of infidelity in marriage and breaking up of courtship that could have led to a happiness-filled marriage as the rate at which people are engaging in having multiple sexual partners is increasing on daily basis. We must speak that language of love with our lovers by praying together with them.
FOR ANY MARRIAGE OR COURTSHIP TO LAST A LIFETIME OF JOY AND TRUE LOVE, PRAYING TOGETHER NEEDS NOT TO BE RELEGATED TO THE BACK SEAT OF THE RELATIONSHIP
5. Emotionally available
Emotional touch is very important in marriage/relationship just like physical touch is. The couple who are emotionally available to each other are the ones who are often seeing playing together. Being emotionally available would make one to recognise the needs of the other person and their yearning for constant affection. When one is emotionally available is when you put off some things and prioritise your lover by putting him/her first.
Being emotionally available to each other would eliminate any need for the power struggle between a man and his woman which has plagued the 21st-century relationship. Being emotionally available to each other affords the partners in love the opportunity to have a love and happiness-filled relationship/marriage. The emotional touch between the lovers would, in turn, become the reason they cannot live life without each other.
My hope for you today is that you begin to practise everything you have read today and also encourage others to do so.
If this material has been useful to you in any way, kindly share with others,
leave any question or comment you might have for me in the comment section, and I promise to respond to each of them.
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