12 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Using You
This is a guest post by Muobo Appah
We've all been there at least once or twice in our lives; dated that guy or girl that wasn't genuinely interested in us. However, because our intentions were pure, we were blind to theirs, or perhaps love was what blinded us.
It can be hard to know if a person truly loves you or is not using you. However, at such times, one thing that is always present is that feeling that all is not quite right. Call it gut feeling if you will, but it is always present and never lies.
As women, this feeling can be very strong in us and is there to protect you. It never goes away, even if you try to make excuses for tour man. If you're ever in doubt as to the authenticity of your partner's intentions, here are twelve proven ways you can be sure:
12 Signs Your Boyfriend is Just Using You
1. You Don't Know His Friends or Anyone of Worth in His Life
A man who genuinely loves you will want to establish your place in his life and he does this by making you meet everyone that matters in his life.
If your man is hiding you from the key persons in his life, then this is one key sign you should know.
2. He Avoids Being Seen in Public with You
There are a number of reasons why a guy would avoid being seen in public with you, and one of them is that he might have other girls he's dating or crushing on and doesn't want to spoil his chances with them.
If this is the case, it also means he isn't quite serious with you and only sees you as a placeholder.
3. He Doesn't Really Care About Your Emotions
Yet another sign your man is only using you is that your emotions are not all that important to him. He can't be bothered about those little things that matter to you and may consider doing them as too much of a burden.
When a man genuinely loves you, everything about you becomes important to him and he takes the pain to make you happy.
4. Your Opinions Don't Matter to Him
Your opinions matter very little to him and he demonstrates this by taking major decisions without consulting you.
5. He Doesn't Speak of a Future with You
He doesn't see you in his future, so will never speak of a one together. He also becomes evasive when you ask about the future of your relationship and may become upset when you persist.
6. There's No Real Emotion Intimacy Between You Guys
Deep down you will know something is lacking in the relationship as he will avoid connecting with you on an emotional level. The more you try to deepen this emotional intimacy, the more distant he gets.
He only needs you for sex and building an emotional connection with you will only complicate things.
7. He Keeps You Out of His Personal Life
A man who genuinely cares about you is not afraid to share his deepest secrets with you. If you don't know much about his real life, then you should know something is seriously wrong.
8. He Keeps His Phone Guarded
This is just about the most glaring sign your man is hiding something. While everyone has a right to keep their phones to themselves, always keeping it passworded and heavily guarded is a pointer to the fact it likely contains stuff he doesn't want you seeing and you can guess what this stuff is.
9. He Doesn't Respect You
A man who loves you will treat you with the respect you deserve. If on the other hand, he treats you like shit, then this goes to show he doesn't place you any higher than that.
10. He Insists on Keeping the Relation Secret to everyone, including those who matter to you and himself.
He wants a secret love. Of course, he gives you "intelligent" reasons why keeping the relationship secret is the best thing for you both. Heck, he might even tell you there are people envious of the love you share and out to harm your relationship.
Whatever reasons he comes up with, the fact remains he wants your relationship kept hidden so he doesn't get seen as "taken" to keep his options open.
11. He Is Selfish in Bed
He doesn't really care if you get satiated in bed (remember your feelings don't really matter to him). He looks out for just his needs and is content when he achieves that. probably you have raised this up with him in discussion and he kept waving it off like it does not matter.
12. He Only Calls You When He Wants Something from You
The only time he remembers to call is when he needs something from you. He has your number on speed dial and uses it only when he needs sex or some other urgent favour from you.
Having learned all those 12 signs your boyfriend is using you, below are the solutions you can apply to help yourself overcome such situation of being used by your boyfriend.
It can be devastating finding out the one person who means a lot to you sees you as way less. Finding out your boyfriend is using you can take a huge toll on your self-esteem.
So what should you do when this happens? Should you throw a pity party and spend the next year crying your eyes out? Or would you rather be proactive and try to get your life back in order?
If you find yourself in such a situation here are some things you should do:
1. End the Relationship
2. Cry If You Must
Relationship breakups are painful and this will be more so, seeing as what you've just been through is tantamount to a betrayal.
Crying is therapeutic and will help ease the hurt and pain you feel inside.
3. Visit a Professional If Need Be
Your self-esteem has just taken a huge blow and would need to be rebuilt right back up.
You might want to consider visiting a therapist to help you with this.
4. Talk to a Trusted Friend
If seeing a professional doesn't sit well with you, then you might want to consider talking to a trusted friend. There are those friends that have our best interest at heart and would want to see us happy.
Talk to them and be open to any help they offer.
5. Give Love a Try Again With the Right Person
They say " it takes new love to forget an old one." Giving love a chance again, when you are sufficiently healed, would be a great way to heal completely and move on. The only caveat in this is that only the right person should be given a chance this time around.
There are tons of great guys out there. You just need to give a good one a chance so you can love again and be loved the right way.
I pray for you to find love in life, and when you, I pray it lasts forever. Enjoy your life because you deserve the best as a Queen that you are.
This great piece is a guest post, written by:
Muobo Appah
Who We Are
WomenAllAround was founded by Muobo Appah, a wife and mother to a beautiful little girl.
She is passionate about the need to give succour to women all around the world. She seeks to be a fun place for women to relax, a make http://www.womenallaround.com a place of hope for women struggling and one of constant learning platforms.
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