What Makes A Happy Marriage - 6 keys To Successful Marriage

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what-makes-a-good-marriage?

Marriage is a beautiful thing, specially ordained by the Almighty creator to further solidify the oneness of his creatures (men and women), thereby making sure that the wonderful creatures the Lord has created continue to be beautiful in their existence.

In today's discussion I will share with you "What Makes A Happy Marriage" and what I also call "6 keys To Successful Marriage"

Is it so hard to make a happy home?

The answer is no for those who are willing to put in the required efforts, while on the other hand might be a bit of a work for those who are not ready  to dress the garden of marriage.

Let me use this as analogy:

Imagine you had a garden filled with beautiful flowers but you don't water it, you don't prune it, you don't dress the garden, you don't take care of the garden, it won't be long before the beautiful flowers in the garden turn to thick and wild bush. The once beautiful flowers would become ugly, the garden would become unpleasant to the eyes of whoever looks at it.

This is what marriage is like; it is like a garden that you must look after and take very good care of for it to blossom.

To have a happy marriage you need to live like a diligent gardener who looks after his/her garden and takes very good care of it.

6 keys to a successful marriage which are also parts of what make a happy marriage are listed below:

1. The husband and the wife need to build the marriage on Godly foundation.

To have a strong and lasting structural home a builder must build the house on a very good foundation.

Just as a good farmer sows seeds in a fertile land where the crops are likely to germinate and yield good harvest, thereby giving room for other things the farmer would do in the course of the farming a room to work for the seeds to grow and yield good harvest is the same way a marriage must be built on a Godly foundation. 

 When the marriage is built on God, it creates room for the man and the woman to drop their ego aside and work together as one, knowing that one is not better than the other, and they are both helpmates to one another..

God is the author of marriage, just like a manufacturer knows the products more than anyone else, only God knows everything and can teach all about marriage. When the marriage is built on Godliness (not religiousness), half of the work is already done and the rest becomes easier to apply and get good result of.

2. Put your partner's happiness first in the marriage.

One of the reasons for unhappiness is selfishness. Many people make decisions that affect their marriage without thinking of the effects on their partners.

One of the lessons I have learnt in life is that if I care about the happiness of my wife first and she does the same of me, we are both going to be better for it in the end.

For example: if a man thinks of how hurting the wife would be  if he does something that could hurt her and he refuses to do the hurtful deed, he has given himself opportunity and environment not to make his wife unhappy, vice versa a woman when she considers her man before making a decision. 

Selflessness on both sides would always grow the love and happiness in the marriage. A man and a woman need to drop the act of 'me first' if they are to have a happy marriage. The selflessness has to be on both sides for the happy marriage to complete. However, it can start from either of the partner while supporting the other to learn it if the level of selflessness is not equally learnt and embraced yet in the marriage.

3. Full openness on both sides is required to create a happy marriage.

A marriage is supposed be a place where there is no secret and no privacy between a husband and his wife. When there is privacy in a marriage there is a problem already. It is not normal that a husband and his wife should have secret or areas they cannot talk about or share. A husband is supposed to see the wife as he sees himself and the wife is also supposed to see the husband as she sees herself. Married people need to embrace the life of openness with their partners for happiness to exist in their marriage. When there is secret in a marriage there is bound to be tension and suspicion between the partners and this would limit the level of happiness that such marriage can enjoy.

In your marriage, please Embrace the culture of WE instead of ME, the marriage cannot go far if the marriage revolves around one person's happiness and needs, there must be equal and reciprocity of love and care for true happiness to exist in marriage.

4. Always have play times with your partner other than when you have sex.

There is a popular saying that lovers should remain kids to one another even though they are grown. This literally means that husband and wife need not take life too seriously that they stop playing with each other like babies. 

Babies don't calculate or have any hidden motive when playing with each other, just play with yourselves all the time. Your play needs not lead to sex so that your partner does not see the play as a kind of sex initiating game you play, play with yourselves genuinely and laugh together like little kids. 

When you see children playing together, they think of nothing else but play. This should be the situation in your marriage. play like you are both babies to yourselves. There is nothing like I am too big to be playing like a kid, your wife or husband is not an outsider, he or she is not someone who would criticise you for playing with them.

 Shut the rest of the world out and play with your partners, remember how sweet and childish you felt when you first fell in love with your partner? That feeling should never stop between both of you.

5. Separate your friends from your marriage.

Humans usually have the tendency to make their marriage a public affair with their friends, you want to share everything going on in your marriage with your friends, tell them the flaws and perfection of your partner. Hold up, don't do it. Believe me when I say that this does not end well in most cases.

You've got to know things not to share with your friends about your marriage, marriage is a private part of your life, guard it jealously.

6. Work together with your partner as a unit instead of working as a separate parts.

Marriage is a system. The husband and the wife are components that must work together for the system to function properly, if the husband and wife refuse to function together, the marriage as a system will not work because a system is a set of variables that work together to achieve a common objective.

Nothing can be too big to achieve for partners who work together. This does not mean working in the same office or doing the same job, it means executing a project together, planning together, carrying each other along before making a vital decision.

 Carry each other along before making any decision about the home front. Marriage is a team game, the husband and wife have to work together for them to always win in marriage. Without unified efforts there can't be a happy marriage.

Now that you are aware of these points we have discussed, you have to apply them to your marriage so they may work for you.

Remember that we earlier mentioned the fact that marriage requires deliberate effort at making it enjoyable?

I wish you a happy marriage as you and your partner do the right things to make it blossom.

Do you have any question or need an advice?

Send me a mail on info@abrahamadebiyi.com

Do not forget to leave a comment below on what you think about this discussion.

Happy Married life